I have written in my calendar:
Read
Write
Learn
Each day, I check them off after I complete the task.
That means each day I'll read a little. Each day I'll write a little. Each day I'll learn something new. I make sure to save time for these three things. Four times a week at least, I also work out. On the treadmill, at the gym, in spinning or strength and endurance classes. I take yoga once a week. I make sure to move.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I don't like wires...
Just minutes ago, two extremely nice fellas from Brighthouse walked out my front door. They'd just finished switching over my former AT&T phone line to Brighthouse service and they installed a new Internet connection that's ten zillion times faster than AT&T's offerings. (Randy's brain was about to explode with how slow the Internet was in this house....)
While they were here, I realized something, or, a few somethings, rather:
1. I don't like wires. When it comes to anything electronic or technological, my brain wants to shut down completely. Someone tries to explain something to me about wires and cords and lines, and I suddenly get sleepy. It's my brain's response to information overload. The truth is: I don't want to know. I want phone lines and cable lines and Internet lines to magically turn on, and I don't want to remember a password to make them work. When the toaster breaks, I want to stare at it long enough that it will right itself and we can move on in our happy existences. (This never works. It also never works with broken boyfriends. Trust me. I've tried.) So, technology and me = not winning. Hell, I don't even Twitter because it seems too complicated. I never really liked blogs. (It's amazing that I'm actually on here.) I was a late adopter to the DVD player (though, apparently, not as late as Julia Spalding), and I have a fancy new iPhone 4S with Siri, and I only used Siri for fun for about a day before shutting her down and never going back. Yes, I own this super complicated phone only to check e-mails (which someone else set up for me), take millions of pictures of the animals, send text messages and make phone calls. I think this phone does a whole lot more than that, but I wouldn't know. The way I always see it: The more stuff something can do, the more possibilities for that stuff to break. And I don't know how to fix stuff when it breaks.
2. The astounding part about my first confession is this: I come from a large family of electricians. My dad owned his own electrical company. My uncle was an electrician, as well as a mechanic for USAir. My brother took over the company business; he's still wiring up houses or outlets or some such electronic devices today. My nephew is an electrician. His dad is an electrician. My brother-in-law is an electrician. And, because of all this, I grew up surrounded by wires. You'd think wires and I would have bonded a little more by now. Wires, it seems, are in my blood.
So what is wrong with me? The truth is I don't know. And all I can say is this: Thank God for Randy. He can fix anything from broken garbage disposals to broken hearts. (He has successfully fixed both so far.) Randy walks around this house and fixes things that are broken that I never even knew needed fixing. He has re-installed garbage disposals, swapped out sink and bathtub fixtures, installed new flooring, helped me paint, re-wired hanging lights, fixed faulty spots on the roof, switched out the old gas stove for the new (or old, rather) electric one, properly framed art, hung it on the walls, and more. And when a major appliance breaks? Team Dugger goes into action. I'd used my former treadmill until it could be used no more, and so Randy mentioned the death of it to his dad, who spends his days at auctions and estate sales. The following day, as I was at home working, I got a knock on my door. Randy's dad was on the porch with a new treadmill beside him. A few months pass and my dryer goes out. The next day? A visit from Randy's dad and a new dryer installation. God love Team Dugger. There are days when I wonder how I ever got along without them.
While all this makes me view RD with boatloads of respect, it also makes me feel pretty useless. My old staring routine when it comes to broken coffeemakers just isn't going to cut it anymore. (It never really did.) I've got to learn how to do something around here. Something more than just writin' about it.
While they were here, I realized something, or, a few somethings, rather:
1. I don't like wires. When it comes to anything electronic or technological, my brain wants to shut down completely. Someone tries to explain something to me about wires and cords and lines, and I suddenly get sleepy. It's my brain's response to information overload. The truth is: I don't want to know. I want phone lines and cable lines and Internet lines to magically turn on, and I don't want to remember a password to make them work. When the toaster breaks, I want to stare at it long enough that it will right itself and we can move on in our happy existences. (This never works. It also never works with broken boyfriends. Trust me. I've tried.) So, technology and me = not winning. Hell, I don't even Twitter because it seems too complicated. I never really liked blogs. (It's amazing that I'm actually on here.) I was a late adopter to the DVD player (though, apparently, not as late as Julia Spalding), and I have a fancy new iPhone 4S with Siri, and I only used Siri for fun for about a day before shutting her down and never going back. Yes, I own this super complicated phone only to check e-mails (which someone else set up for me), take millions of pictures of the animals, send text messages and make phone calls. I think this phone does a whole lot more than that, but I wouldn't know. The way I always see it: The more stuff something can do, the more possibilities for that stuff to break. And I don't know how to fix stuff when it breaks.
2. The astounding part about my first confession is this: I come from a large family of electricians. My dad owned his own electrical company. My uncle was an electrician, as well as a mechanic for USAir. My brother took over the company business; he's still wiring up houses or outlets or some such electronic devices today. My nephew is an electrician. His dad is an electrician. My brother-in-law is an electrician. And, because of all this, I grew up surrounded by wires. You'd think wires and I would have bonded a little more by now. Wires, it seems, are in my blood.
So what is wrong with me? The truth is I don't know. And all I can say is this: Thank God for Randy. He can fix anything from broken garbage disposals to broken hearts. (He has successfully fixed both so far.) Randy walks around this house and fixes things that are broken that I never even knew needed fixing. He has re-installed garbage disposals, swapped out sink and bathtub fixtures, installed new flooring, helped me paint, re-wired hanging lights, fixed faulty spots on the roof, switched out the old gas stove for the new (or old, rather) electric one, properly framed art, hung it on the walls, and more. And when a major appliance breaks? Team Dugger goes into action. I'd used my former treadmill until it could be used no more, and so Randy mentioned the death of it to his dad, who spends his days at auctions and estate sales. The following day, as I was at home working, I got a knock on my door. Randy's dad was on the porch with a new treadmill beside him. A few months pass and my dryer goes out. The next day? A visit from Randy's dad and a new dryer installation. God love Team Dugger. There are days when I wonder how I ever got along without them.
While all this makes me view RD with boatloads of respect, it also makes me feel pretty useless. My old staring routine when it comes to broken coffeemakers just isn't going to cut it anymore. (It never really did.) I've got to learn how to do something around here. Something more than just writin' about it.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Everyone ends up somewhere. Only a few end up somewhere on purpose.
Sundays are my favorite days of the week. Each Sunday morning, Randy and I sit next to my mom and dad at church, and--for many reasons too numerous to go into here--this is a miracle in and of itself. So I'll repeat it for impact: Every Sunday Randy and I are at church. And every Sunday, I get to listen to these amazing sermons while spending time with the man I love and the parents I adore. In weeks filled with happy days, I've found that I'm happiest on Sundays. All seems right with the world on Sundays.
These past few Sundays, Pastor Danny has delivered sermons on ways to make 2012 our best years ever. The hour-plus events are way better than what I'm going to be able to describe here (You can actually watch them online if you're interested at: http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/emmanuel-church-greenwood/id159226549), but Danny delivers the word in ways that make everything seem very simple ... and easy to pull off.
In order to have great years, he advises, we need to have an accumulation of great weeks. In order to have great weeks? Start with great days, and you get the picture. "Everyone ends up somewhere," he says. "Only a few end up somewhere on purpose."
Through these sermons, Danny coaches his congregations on coming up with visions for every area of our lives that we'd like to improve. What's your vision? Want to be in better health? Want a better relationship with your spouse or kids? Want to getoutofdebtgetclosertoGodfindabetterjoborfillintheblank?
Once you figure out your vision for all areas of your life, then you've got to develop a plan. What will it take to accomplish your goals? What kind of self-discipline will you need? ("The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied." -- Proverbs 13:4) Spend an hour thinking about what you need to do every day to master those different areas of your life. Then, he advises, get the right people involved in your plan, write down each necessary task in a planner book every day, and check each task off as you accomplish it. Start having great days. Watch them turn into great weeks. Then look back and celebrate when you've had a great year. All of this seems like such common sense. And, yet, it's the easiest stuff in the world to forget.
Like I said, Sundays are great days. I get to start the days with my favorite people in the world. And I usually come out of those sermons inspired. Then we go eat. Then I forget the plan I'm supposed to make. Then we spend the afternoon cooking something in the kitchen for Randy to eat all week. Then the week starts, and I get busy with work. Then the week ends. Then Sunday comes along again, and I've got to get inspired all over again. It's easy to dream big and easier yet to fail bigger.
I've had all that Danny has been preaching rolling around in my head these past few weeks. I realize I have a lot of goals for this year... probably too many. So, with that, here's the narrowed-down vision:
I'll end all this introspection before it gets long and too unruly, but hopefully you get my drift. In my more detailed plan, each of the above areas need to be addressed with actual steps to take on a daily basis to reach my goals. I have big hopes for 2012. I have big plans. It's going to take great big steps to get there. How's about you?
These past few Sundays, Pastor Danny has delivered sermons on ways to make 2012 our best years ever. The hour-plus events are way better than what I'm going to be able to describe here (You can actually watch them online if you're interested at: http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/emmanuel-church-greenwood/id159226549), but Danny delivers the word in ways that make everything seem very simple ... and easy to pull off.
In order to have great years, he advises, we need to have an accumulation of great weeks. In order to have great weeks? Start with great days, and you get the picture. "Everyone ends up somewhere," he says. "Only a few end up somewhere on purpose."
Through these sermons, Danny coaches his congregations on coming up with visions for every area of our lives that we'd like to improve. What's your vision? Want to be in better health? Want a better relationship with your spouse or kids? Want to getoutofdebtgetclosertoGodfindabetterjoborfillintheblank?
Once you figure out your vision for all areas of your life, then you've got to develop a plan. What will it take to accomplish your goals? What kind of self-discipline will you need? ("The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied." -- Proverbs 13:4) Spend an hour thinking about what you need to do every day to master those different areas of your life. Then, he advises, get the right people involved in your plan, write down each necessary task in a planner book every day, and check each task off as you accomplish it. Start having great days. Watch them turn into great weeks. Then look back and celebrate when you've had a great year. All of this seems like such common sense. And, yet, it's the easiest stuff in the world to forget.
Like I said, Sundays are great days. I get to start the days with my favorite people in the world. And I usually come out of those sermons inspired. Then we go eat. Then I forget the plan I'm supposed to make. Then we spend the afternoon cooking something in the kitchen for Randy to eat all week. Then the week starts, and I get busy with work. Then the week ends. Then Sunday comes along again, and I've got to get inspired all over again. It's easy to dream big and easier yet to fail bigger.
I've had all that Danny has been preaching rolling around in my head these past few weeks. I realize I have a lot of goals for this year... probably too many. So, with that, here's the narrowed-down vision:
- Spiritual/Emotional: Have I mentioned yet how awesome it is to read the Bible? Every time I pick it up, I get something different out of it. I can't even believe I'm saying this stuff sometimes, but it's a handbook on life, and since I've started reading it, I see everything differently and much more clearly. The things that matter to most of you most likely don't matter to me. I'm pretty sure of that. And what does matter? Love. A lot of it. So, the Bible? I'll be reading a lot more of it.
- Family: Sundays are fun days. I realize that time is of the essence with mom and dad, and this year has been a rough one on my family, in some ways. My loved ones are making wrong decisions when it comes to what's important. But that's ok. We're human. We screw up. I do all the time. This year, I've got a lot to do to be there for mom and pops when they need me; I want to show my siblings and their families how much I love them, and I want to get to know Randy's family, which I adore. As for RD, he's the best thing to ever come my way. I have to show him so. I have many thoughts on past relationships, and I fully believe every crappy one I've tended to was necessary to get me to where I am today. I'm thankful for the people who were in my life and failed me. I'm thankful for the women who were in Randy's life and failed him. I'm happy he and I made wrong choices. It means we know the importance of making right ones now.
- Work/School: I could keep talking about how much I love my job until I'm blue in the face. Each day, I'm giving myself a routine with a set schedule. I have a running to-do list, and I want to make myself proud this year. I want to write more stories and find ways to read more good writing. I want to become a better writer--not because I want to show the world how creative or smart or witty I think I am in a blog or online post, but because I actually want to challenge myself to write better. I want to read good writing. I want to read about how to write well. Writing well is hard work. I want to exercise my mind. I also want to do well for the company that keeps me. Work is important to me in what feels like super big ways this year. I love it too much to let it down. :-)
- Social: Learning to ride the motorcycle, bicycling with the Circle City Cruisers crew and hanging out with friends more is all in the works. I've made the mistake before of shutting myself off from the world. That was before. This is now. I have a few good friends whom I adore, and laughing feels good. They'll be seeing me more.
- Health: I've started taking fitness classes as part of a story I'm working on for NORTH, but my plan isn't just to do them for a few weeks and then quit. I want to be as healthy as possible, to eat well, cut the sugar back out of my life, exercise regularly and feel good. In equal parts, I feel very far from the ultimate goal, and I also feel very good about my current eating and exercising routine. So, if you're happy and you know it... clap your hands. Clap. Clap.
- Financial: Randy and I are talking more about moving to the country sooner rather than later. This involves getting my house ready to rent or sell, getting our affairs in order to get approved for a new loan and finding the right house. Which means I need to get my money straight. Usually, I'm pretty carefree with my cash. If I want to accomplish things, that ends here. I've started tracking what I spend and putting items back on the shelves that I don't reeeeally need. This is a slow process, I'll admit, and one that's going to take some serious diligence on my part. This chick likes to shop.
I'll end all this introspection before it gets long and too unruly, but hopefully you get my drift. In my more detailed plan, each of the above areas need to be addressed with actual steps to take on a daily basis to reach my goals. I have big hopes for 2012. I have big plans. It's going to take great big steps to get there. How's about you?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Every Day I Think About Posting Something...
And every day, I fail. Until today. I'm stopping all else to write a few things down now. Even if just to clear my head, organize my thoughts, maybe even, if I'm lucky, come up with a plan.
And what you don't know is that those sentences right there were as far as I got before remembering something else I needed to do for work--and so off I went to complete the task ... 30 minutes ago.
Now, I'm back. Each day I have little thoughts, experiences, conversations that I feel like I should remember or record. They're things that relate to how I want to live, to what I want to do or learn, to who I want to be. But finding the precious moments to unpack it all and get it down on paper (or computer, as it were) is a little more difficult than I'd like it to be. I'll try to do better. Because I need to do better, for me.
This past weekend we were out to lunch with Randy's family to celebrate his son Caden's birthday. Randy's mom asked me if I'd begun working on this book idea I have, and I quickly answered: "No, not yet." But that wasn't altogether true. Everything I write in this blog will somehow shape what I do with that idea. Everything I learn or read about or try out or fail miserably at or investigate will somehow play out in that book. And the fact is that everything about that book is everything I want to BE ... and everything I AM is aimed at forming the foundation of that book. Does that even make sense? I'll try to explain.
Grow, Eat and Dye ... The idea of the book is to cover exactly that: Growing food, eating it (or rather: cooking it, canning it, freezing it and THEN eating it) and dyeing fabrics and fibers from those same foods and flowers that I grew. Basically, a few months ago I announced to Randy that I wanted to know how to garden and to garden well and then, once everything was harvested, I wanted to know what to do with all of it. I wanted to give away food to friends and family, I want to cook spectacular meals with it for Randy and I, I want to can and save and freeze the food so we can reap the benefits of the garden all year long, and I want to be able to dye fabrics and clothes from what's left. I want nothing to go to waste. And I want all of that to then go into a book. Just for kicks.
The bigger idea of the book, of course, is that we all grow, eat and die... It's our life cycle. And our life cycles have a great deal to do with our lifestyles. My optimal lifestyle (so that I can live and die happily, of course) involves eating well (I was born to eat! I swear!), exercising madly, feeding my body the vitamins and nutrients it needs, and feeling good about who I am and how I treat myself and others. It also involves learning new stuff all the time. This year, I have a lot of plans. They look a little something like this:
Every minute of my days, it seems, my efforts are focused on getting started on that book. But my eyes see an even bigger prize: My life -- lived just the way I want to live it.
And what you don't know is that those sentences right there were as far as I got before remembering something else I needed to do for work--and so off I went to complete the task ... 30 minutes ago.
Now, I'm back. Each day I have little thoughts, experiences, conversations that I feel like I should remember or record. They're things that relate to how I want to live, to what I want to do or learn, to who I want to be. But finding the precious moments to unpack it all and get it down on paper (or computer, as it were) is a little more difficult than I'd like it to be. I'll try to do better. Because I need to do better, for me.
This past weekend we were out to lunch with Randy's family to celebrate his son Caden's birthday. Randy's mom asked me if I'd begun working on this book idea I have, and I quickly answered: "No, not yet." But that wasn't altogether true. Everything I write in this blog will somehow shape what I do with that idea. Everything I learn or read about or try out or fail miserably at or investigate will somehow play out in that book. And the fact is that everything about that book is everything I want to BE ... and everything I AM is aimed at forming the foundation of that book. Does that even make sense? I'll try to explain.
Grow, Eat and Dye ... The idea of the book is to cover exactly that: Growing food, eating it (or rather: cooking it, canning it, freezing it and THEN eating it) and dyeing fabrics and fibers from those same foods and flowers that I grew. Basically, a few months ago I announced to Randy that I wanted to know how to garden and to garden well and then, once everything was harvested, I wanted to know what to do with all of it. I wanted to give away food to friends and family, I want to cook spectacular meals with it for Randy and I, I want to can and save and freeze the food so we can reap the benefits of the garden all year long, and I want to be able to dye fabrics and clothes from what's left. I want nothing to go to waste. And I want all of that to then go into a book. Just for kicks.
The bigger idea of the book, of course, is that we all grow, eat and die... It's our life cycle. And our life cycles have a great deal to do with our lifestyles. My optimal lifestyle (so that I can live and die happily, of course) involves eating well (I was born to eat! I swear!), exercising madly, feeding my body the vitamins and nutrients it needs, and feeling good about who I am and how I treat myself and others. It also involves learning new stuff all the time. This year, I have a lot of plans. They look a little something like this:
- My dad's giving me his old 1979 motorcycle. I'm going to learn to ride that thing, and that involves taking safety classes and getting licensed to ride it, etc. That's one goal.
- I'd like to find the money to return to Colombia for a second mission trip. This time, I'd like Randy to go, too. I think he'd love it--he's super smart and skilled and he loves helping people. I think he'd get a kick out of building homes for people who need them, and I'd love to be able to go over there and help the locals start up a few community gardens or backyard gardens or gardens at the local public school where we did a lot of work last year. The folks organizing this mission trip are looking into what it would take for me to go over there and get some gardens up and running. What fun. That means I need to find sponsors or raise almost $3,000 so we can go on the trip in June. That's a lot of money to raise, but I think we can do it. We're also setting money back each week to save for the trip. Cartagena, Colombia is an amazing place. I can't wait to do good work there. I also can't wait to run along the bay with Randy at my side.
- I'd also like to be in great shape. One of the things I love about my job is that I get to cherry pick the writing assignments. If there's something I'm interested in, I find a way to write about it -- so I can learn more about it. Because of that, this year I'll be writing about bicycling all over Indiana, getting in shape (Lisa and I are taking every fitness class possible all over the northside; my muscles ache...), and, as of this writing, I'm neck-deep in a story about where to learn how to cook in Carmel and Fishers. When I think about the types of stories I get to tackle, it's incredibly hard not to love my job and my life.
- Work-wise, I want to continue to improve. I've been finding ways to better organize my days and to dive further into writing and editing. I'm taking on more stories, and volunteering to cover more tasks each year that I've been with Home News. I love working for that company, and though someday I hope to also find the time to spend a few days a week working in dirt, I want to work for Home News in some capacity until I retire. I love the opportunities and the people there, and they inspire me to want to do my best for them. No better place to be than that.
- I have a few other more personal goals, as well. Those involve being closer to my family, being there for my mom and pops more, loving Randy well (and marrying the shit out of him one day!), and just being an all-around good and spiritual and loving person.
Every minute of my days, it seems, my efforts are focused on getting started on that book. But my eyes see an even bigger prize: My life -- lived just the way I want to live it.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Cooler Corn
I love this recipe that was just sent to me...
Cooler Corn
All you need is a cooler, wiped clean, then filled with the shucked ears. Next, two kettles-full of boiling water are poured over the corn and the top closed.
Cooler Corn
All you need is a cooler, wiped clean, then filled with the shucked ears. Next, two kettles-full of boiling water are poured over the corn and the top closed.
Then nothing.
Thirty minutes later you open it, the corn is perfectly cooked. If you’re an avid outdoors person, you may have already heard of this. But for those of us who avoid tents as much as possible, it's perfect for large barbecues and way less of mess than grilling. In fact, this is a great use for the less-than-great coolers that take up space in the garage. (Just make sure they’re clean.)
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
During a brief stop at World Market over the weekend, Randy and I spotted a few wooden dining tables on sale--the kinds of tables with bench seating that are big, solid and perfect accessories to expansive farmhouses with wood floors and vintage wood stoves and antique pie safes. Seeing those tables made my want for such a house increase--by a lot.
The same day I received a message from Jim Linder on Facebook. I think he'd be okay with me copying it into here:
My ex-husband used to regularly talk about how he had more summers behind him than in front of him, and I'm starting to understand the impact of what he said. I'm midway through life right now, if not almost through it. (I realize every day is a gift I'm not actually guaranteed to get.) I've made plenty of mistakes in this life; I've routinely given up on or lost relationships. I've gone about things wrong. I've placed importance on people or things or jobs or accomplishments that--in the end--didn't matter.
With fewer summers in front of me than behind me, isn't it time to start doing things right? To figure out what's important, what matters, who and what will stay by my side for the long haul, and to honor and build upon those relationships and habits? I keep seeing people complaining about the littlest upsets in their lives every day on Facebook. I see so many people unhappy for so many different reasons.
And when I look around me, all I can see are the flowers, and the pets, and the wonderful flavors in my food, my boyfriend, my family, and my new family, Randy's family, which has made me feel so welcome and warm and loved.
Daily, I am reminded of all that I have and all that I want--like that dining room table, that farmhouse, that life that I started talking about at the beginning of this post (before I got sidetracked. Sorry!). Each day, I load up my Facebook photo albums with pictures of what's important to me, the images of people and pets and things that make this life so happy, the little things that, to me, seem so worth capturing. These are the things that remind me every day to count my blessings and to be happy. Some people could say I've had bad luck these past few years. But it's terrific luck that I've been through so much heartache. That same luck got me here.
The same day I received a message from Jim Linder on Facebook. I think he'd be okay with me copying it into here:
- Just a note, I enjoyed your blog and the garden country living style mentioned.
Made me rethink my childhood. My grandparents lived in a old log cabin without a driveway in Tennessee (you drove in so far and then walked to the house) when I was a kid and I lived with them for a few years as well. They had no electricity, had never driven or owned a car and all refrigeration was done in a little spring coming out of hill back of the house. I have many fond memories of going to the spring to retrieve a gallon of milk (usually fresh butter milk) and a ball of homemade butter for the evening meal.
There was never a can of anything in the house and everything you could ever think of was in a cellar out back as well. I especially remember the canned peaches with about 10 lbs of sugar per jar, my favorite for sure. The garden spot was huge as almost everything was grown and canned and put away. I didn't especially enjoy some of the days of canning as to me at the time it represented some serious work (for a kid). Ever want to write a book about living in the hills, let me know and I can keep you in stories for sure. When ya don't have tv, telephone or electricity you live on humor and gardens I guess....
- "You live on humor and gardens." I read that and thought, yes, Jim, you're exactly right. That's exactly what I want to do: To live on humor and gardens. I'll throw love into that equation, too, because this year I've been trying to figure out how to love a little better. The idea of really loving relates to religion and spirituality for me, and reading the Bible this past year has opened my eyes to what it takes to truly love. I had no idea it was a handbook for that sort of thing, but it is. In my mind, at least. But that's another post for another time.I've had the regular run of bad relationships and lies and forgotten dreams and broken hearts in my life. I'm nothing special when it comes to that. We all win some. We all lose some. We all have good luck, dumb luck and really bad luck. These past few years have been especially rough, unimaginably eye-opening and heart-wrenching. I've watched people die who, in my mind, had not even had the chance to live yet. I've believed in people who were false from the start. I learned the painful difference between words and actions. And these past few years, in all their suckitude (I know that's not a word), have been amazing as well. I found a love for gardening. I learned how to feed my body. And I found a little humor in my defeats. I carved a spiritual path that works for me. I have defined--finally--who I am and who I will be.And, thanks to Jim Linder, I have realized this: In the end, all you really have to live on is humor and gardens (whether you opt for a big-corporate-grown garden or an organic little one in your backyard is up to you) ... And then you have love--if you let it in.
My ex-husband used to regularly talk about how he had more summers behind him than in front of him, and I'm starting to understand the impact of what he said. I'm midway through life right now, if not almost through it. (I realize every day is a gift I'm not actually guaranteed to get.) I've made plenty of mistakes in this life; I've routinely given up on or lost relationships. I've gone about things wrong. I've placed importance on people or things or jobs or accomplishments that--in the end--didn't matter.
With fewer summers in front of me than behind me, isn't it time to start doing things right? To figure out what's important, what matters, who and what will stay by my side for the long haul, and to honor and build upon those relationships and habits? I keep seeing people complaining about the littlest upsets in their lives every day on Facebook. I see so many people unhappy for so many different reasons.
And when I look around me, all I can see are the flowers, and the pets, and the wonderful flavors in my food, my boyfriend, my family, and my new family, Randy's family, which has made me feel so welcome and warm and loved.
Daily, I am reminded of all that I have and all that I want--like that dining room table, that farmhouse, that life that I started talking about at the beginning of this post (before I got sidetracked. Sorry!). Each day, I load up my Facebook photo albums with pictures of what's important to me, the images of people and pets and things that make this life so happy, the little things that, to me, seem so worth capturing. These are the things that remind me every day to count my blessings and to be happy. Some people could say I've had bad luck these past few years. But it's terrific luck that I've been through so much heartache. That same luck got me here.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year's Cheer
In 2010, I watched a couple of documentaries ("Food Matters" and "The Gerson Miracle"), which turned my world upside down. They totally changed the way I ate and the ways in which I thought about food and medicine and vitamins and health. Now, every day marks a new day in the quest to live well. As I grow older, I become more aware of each passing day. I also become more driven to achieve, learn and grow. The unfortunate twist to this is that my body grows wearier as I go. So I find I have more I want to accomplish and less umph to do it with. Life is funny like that, but I make do.
I make sure to keep moving. I keep exercise as part of my regular routine, and lately I've been looking for ways to up my game. I think classes at the Y or LA Fitness are in order, and, when the weather warms, I hope we'll be taking regular bicycle rides down to Fountain Square. Last week, I was able to attend a couple of classes at the Fishers Y, and a strength and endurance class left me feeling like I'd been run over by a bus. Clearly, my previous routine hasn't really made the best use of my body. I have to work every part of it--all the time. I am a firm believer in that "use it or lose it" thing. And my body is jacked-up from years spent playing roller derby, scoliosis and bad genes.
I take loads of vitamins; when everyone else gets sick, I thank my lucky stars that along the way I figured out the importance of daily high doses of vitamin C. I take at least 3,000 mg of C a day; usually it's a lot more. I see an alternative health physician when I need to, and I consider the repercussions of bad eating habits. I can't remember the last time I ordered something off the menu that was fried, for instance. That's been at least a decade or more.
I love freshly juiced carrots and apples and celery and beets. I devour Fuji apples and in-season mangos--and all fruits, really--as well as hummus and celery and all manner of salads and vegetarian sandwiches. I rarely eat meat; I opt for almond milk over cow's milk, and I treat myself to hemp seed-oil, super green and red drinks with lecithin and raw cacao on regular occasion. My daily eating habits must, I figure, be better than the average American's, but, still, I want to do better. I inhale caffeine and skip over water too often. That's got to change.
My house, at present, also has more sweets and snack foods in it than it ever has. It's 9 in the morning right now, and two dogs and two cats, two teenage boys and my boyfriend, Randy, are all still asleep. Randy's sons are with us every week, and with each visit they get their pick of sweet treats and snack foods. The way they eat goes against everything I believe, and, yet, I buy the food, watch them eat it and occasionally indulge myself. I bake cookies and cupcakes and muffins, too. I'm trying to find a balance with food, because--the truth is--I was born to eat. I love eating, and I enjoy hell out of eating healthy. But that sugary stuff? It's so damn good.
And so I'm slowly learning to cook. Each week, Randy and I tackle a new recipe, or I go at one alone. Our shared moments spent in the kitchen are some of my favorites. The smells, the sounds and the steaming finished products all rouse my senses of happy. The mindless--and mindful--measuring of ingredients, washing of dishes, sizzling of onions, roasting of vegetables, stirring of soups and uninterrupted teamwork, I've found, are the only things that rival the love I have for being out in the garden.
Planting and feeding and weeding and watching food grow, you see, is one of my first true loves. 2010 brought me the gift of my very first garden, and, now two gardens in, I'm officially hooked. Plans for a bigger and better garden next year are in the works, and, lucky for me, I have Randy to help--he's much more organized and skilled than I. We'll have both raised and regular beds this year, and herbs and spices growing alongside my regular vegetables. Here's one of my cabbages from last year.
I told Randy sometime ago that I wanted to take the time to really learn how to garden--to know how to tackle diseases and unwanted pests organically, to organize a garden so that it's functional and beautiful, to plant flowers and also feed wildlife and the environment. We plan to buy a house in the country down in Brown County within a few years. I want more land upon which to grow. He wants outbuildings and barns to work on his cars and motorcycles. We had considered waiting longer, but I think we're ready to get to it sooner, rather than later. I kinda can't wait to call Barbara (see post below) "neighbor," as well as "pal."
My goal, ultimately, is to live simply, to live off the land as much as possible, to grow what we eat, to eat what we grow, to can, freeze and save or give away the rest, and to make clothes and dye fabrics and fibers from the colors available from the land and our efforts.
Basically, I plan to grow, eat, dye ... and die (happily). Add to that life the exercise, the animals--both indoors and out--and writing more books, editing more magazines, and spending time with family and friends, and the days start to look really, really short. I best get busy.
I make sure to keep moving. I keep exercise as part of my regular routine, and lately I've been looking for ways to up my game. I think classes at the Y or LA Fitness are in order, and, when the weather warms, I hope we'll be taking regular bicycle rides down to Fountain Square. Last week, I was able to attend a couple of classes at the Fishers Y, and a strength and endurance class left me feeling like I'd been run over by a bus. Clearly, my previous routine hasn't really made the best use of my body. I have to work every part of it--all the time. I am a firm believer in that "use it or lose it" thing. And my body is jacked-up from years spent playing roller derby, scoliosis and bad genes.
I take loads of vitamins; when everyone else gets sick, I thank my lucky stars that along the way I figured out the importance of daily high doses of vitamin C. I take at least 3,000 mg of C a day; usually it's a lot more. I see an alternative health physician when I need to, and I consider the repercussions of bad eating habits. I can't remember the last time I ordered something off the menu that was fried, for instance. That's been at least a decade or more.
I love freshly juiced carrots and apples and celery and beets. I devour Fuji apples and in-season mangos--and all fruits, really--as well as hummus and celery and all manner of salads and vegetarian sandwiches. I rarely eat meat; I opt for almond milk over cow's milk, and I treat myself to hemp seed-oil, super green and red drinks with lecithin and raw cacao on regular occasion. My daily eating habits must, I figure, be better than the average American's, but, still, I want to do better. I inhale caffeine and skip over water too often. That's got to change.
My house, at present, also has more sweets and snack foods in it than it ever has. It's 9 in the morning right now, and two dogs and two cats, two teenage boys and my boyfriend, Randy, are all still asleep. Randy's sons are with us every week, and with each visit they get their pick of sweet treats and snack foods. The way they eat goes against everything I believe, and, yet, I buy the food, watch them eat it and occasionally indulge myself. I bake cookies and cupcakes and muffins, too. I'm trying to find a balance with food, because--the truth is--I was born to eat. I love eating, and I enjoy hell out of eating healthy. But that sugary stuff? It's so damn good.
And so I'm slowly learning to cook. Each week, Randy and I tackle a new recipe, or I go at one alone. Our shared moments spent in the kitchen are some of my favorites. The smells, the sounds and the steaming finished products all rouse my senses of happy. The mindless--and mindful--measuring of ingredients, washing of dishes, sizzling of onions, roasting of vegetables, stirring of soups and uninterrupted teamwork, I've found, are the only things that rival the love I have for being out in the garden.
Planting and feeding and weeding and watching food grow, you see, is one of my first true loves. 2010 brought me the gift of my very first garden, and, now two gardens in, I'm officially hooked. Plans for a bigger and better garden next year are in the works, and, lucky for me, I have Randy to help--he's much more organized and skilled than I. We'll have both raised and regular beds this year, and herbs and spices growing alongside my regular vegetables. Here's one of my cabbages from last year.
I told Randy sometime ago that I wanted to take the time to really learn how to garden--to know how to tackle diseases and unwanted pests organically, to organize a garden so that it's functional and beautiful, to plant flowers and also feed wildlife and the environment. We plan to buy a house in the country down in Brown County within a few years. I want more land upon which to grow. He wants outbuildings and barns to work on his cars and motorcycles. We had considered waiting longer, but I think we're ready to get to it sooner, rather than later. I kinda can't wait to call Barbara (see post below) "neighbor," as well as "pal."
My goal, ultimately, is to live simply, to live off the land as much as possible, to grow what we eat, to eat what we grow, to can, freeze and save or give away the rest, and to make clothes and dye fabrics and fibers from the colors available from the land and our efforts.
Basically, I plan to grow, eat, dye ... and die (happily). Add to that life the exercise, the animals--both indoors and out--and writing more books, editing more magazines, and spending time with family and friends, and the days start to look really, really short. I best get busy.
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